Lisa/Asil

There was a loud snap as Asil’s head hit the wall. She was sure he had killed her this time.
“ I told you I hate peas on my plate.” Joe roared slapping her across the face. Asil grabbed her face. It felt as if it were on fire.
“Why do you always make me do this?” Joe asked.
Joe stood over his wife as she lay in the corner sobbing uncontrollably. Asil closed her eyes and prayed that he wouldn’t hit her again.
“Wake up baby… It’s just a bad dream. Daddy’s here now.” Lisa slowly opened her eyes and looked up at her daddy. He picked her up and sat her in his lap gently rubbing her back to calm her down. The fear in her eyes was so strong, so intense it made him feel helpless.
Lisa’s daddy carried her to his bedroom and layed her down. Lisa’s mommy sat up and looked at her husband who only nodded slightly; she lay back down and wrapped her arms around her five-year-old daughter. She could still feel her daughter's body trembling as she slept restlessly. The dreams were getting worse. Lisa was too young to tell them what was going on but, the screaming, and the crying were all too real…
The black and blue marks looked a lot worse than they felt Asil thought as she examined her bruised body in the bathroom mirror.
Asil carefully finished dressing herself and went into the living room. She knew that things between her and Joe were getting worse; his temper was getting shorter and shorter. Too much butter on his toast… Slap, underwear in the wrong drawer… punch. Peas on his plate… Kick. Joe always blamed her, said she didn’t listen. How was she supposed to listen to a man who didn’t know what he wanted? Asil looked at the mess in the living room from the night before, she knew Joe would be angry if she didn’t clean it, but her body ached so badly. Asil tried to clean but she didn’t make it any further than the couch. She closed her eyes and slept.
Lisa sat between her parents happily watching television. There was a feeling of relief in the house because she hadn’t had a bad dream in over a week. Lisa’s parents were beginning to think that it was all over. That didn’t mean the battles at bedtime had ceased, Lisa still hated sleeping. She cried when her mother suggested she take a nap after kindergarten, she kicked and screamed before bed each night… and now the clock said eight thirty. Coldness filled the room.
“Lisa…” mommy began.
Lisa’s body stiffened as tears filled her eyes. Lisa turned to face her mother. She could see her mother’s lips moving, but the boom of her heartbeat blocked out her words.
Memories of the horrible dreams ran across Lisa’s mind, and terror gripped her. She didn’t want to close her eyes. She tried to run, but her daddy’s strong hands came towards her. Lisa screamed, and fought, but the hands kept coming, grabbing her, holding her, pushing her closer and closer into the darkness.
Joe hated it when Asil flinched. He only wanted to touched her. The coldness of her body made him shiver, why couldn’t she understand him better? She never did anything right. He worked hard for her all day, yet she couldn’t manage to do the small things he asked. Joe looked over at his wife’s swollen face. He loved her, wanted to make love to her… to show her he had forgotten, to unite with her, make... her understand.
Joe bent over and softly kissed Asil’s face, her skin tasted sour because of the bruises. Joe could feel her body trembling. Anger flashed over him for a quick second… How had things gone so wrong? How could he love and hate the same person? Joe was afraid, afraid of his own thoughts.
“I’ll never hit you again as long as I live. I swear baby, I’m going to change.” He whispered tenderly in Asil’s ear.
Asil didn’t move. She knew Joe only felt that way because he wanted… no needed her. She could feel his hot breath on the back of her neck. It made her feel sick. How could he use his hands, those same hands that had battered her earlier to caress her, make her feel safe? Asil could feel Joe’s heart beating in unison with her own as he wrapped his body around hers, and it confused her.
Asil wanted to kiss him, to feel what he was feeling, but his hands felt rough now and no matter how softly he caressed her, she still felt the sting of his blows.
Asil felt dark and empty. There was nothing left to give Joe. He had taken it all. Now his smell, the smell that had once excited her, was like rotting flesh to her nostrils. Asil got out of the bed. She had to get away from Joe.
Asil went over to the mirror and looked at herself. She was a twenty eight year old woman with no children(she had made sure of that), and yet she looked like she was sixty. She could no longer recognize herself and felt almost as lost as she looked.
“I can’t do this anymore Joe.” Asil said as she turned away from the mirror and looked at him.
“What?” Joe sat up and looked at his wife.
“I want out Joe… You have to let me out.” Asil said with a roar that came from her very soul.
“You can’t leave me, I love you.” Joe pleaded.
“You don’t love me, you possess me.” Asil whispered.
Joe sat silently for a long time, his mind raced as he tried to figure out what to do. How could she leave? She needed him.
“Who is he?” Joe screamed grasping at straws.
Asil was confused; she didn’t realize what he was saying at first. Then she laughed.
“There is no one else Joe.” For the first time in 10 years Asil looked Joe in the face.
Joe knew that she meant it this time, and it scared him. He couldn’t live without Asil and she couldn’t… no, wouldn’t live without him. Joe jumped out of bed and grabbed her, put his hands around her neck, her soft, pretty little neck. The neck he would never again kiss…
The sound of Lisa screaming sent a shiver down her daddy’s spine. He jumped out of bed and ran for her room.
Asil felt warm and cold at the same time. She knew Joe wasn’t going to let her go… let her be free, but she didn’t care. It didn’t matter any more. Nothing mattered; she could hardly feel him hitting her.
Asil closed her eyes. The rhythm of Joe’s fist smashing her face had become soothing. It made her sleepy. Asil’s eyes grew heavy, and the room began to darken. Asil had a peace that she had never felt before.
“Asil.” She tried to open her eyes as she heard Joe call her name.
Asil hesitated… she didn’t want to see Joe, she wanted to stay in the peace.
“Asil wake up.” Joe screamed frantically.
Reluctantly Asil opened her eyes, but Joe wasn’t there. There was only darkness, but she wasn’t afraid. Asil could feel her body moving forward towards the light, a small light far off in the distance. The light grew larger and large as she got closer.
“Asil baby… wake up. Do you hear me? Asil?”
Joe’s voice was fading … Suddenly Asil felt two strong hands reach out and grab her, hold her gingerly. These hands were different from Joe’s hands; these hands were filled with love. Asil felt like a little child…
“Lisa baby… wake up. Do you hear me? Lisa?”
Lisa opened her eyes and smiled as her daddy picked her up with his strong hands. She liked the way her daddy smelled and how his hands gently, yet firmly held her safe.